My Wedding Day: Part 1 Who’s In The Driver’s Seat?

Friday, August 1st, 1980 was the day I had waited ten years for.  Paul and I were getting married.  The night before we had made our plans.  I was to pick Paul up at the hospital at seven in the morning, after he had finished working his night shift.  We then were going to drive […]

Curse Of The Redhead Riter: Part 4 Locusts And Frogs

Paul continued telling me his story. . . “As soon as I told Desireé that she had swallowed a frog, her eyes rolled backwards and she fainted.  I could still hear the frog croaking from deep within her, ‘Ribbit!  Ribitt!  Ribbit!’  It was lodged in her windpipe.  I knew if I didn’t act quickly she […]

Curse Of The Redhead Riter: Part 3 Porgie And Pussycat

Paul continued telling me his story. . . “I debated if I should wake Desireé and tell her that there was a frog in our bed.  But then I had second thoughts.  For some strange reason the two things that Desireé feared most in life were locusts and frogs.  If Desireé knew that she had […]

Curse Of The Redhead Riter: Part 2 Dynamite

I was at work on my memoir, A Bad Marriage Is Fattening, when I heard Paul’s agitated voice in the back of my mind.   “Joanie, I have to talk to you!” I stopped writing and looked at Paul.  “When have you ever wanted to talk to me?” “I need to speak to you about The […]

Curse Of The Redhead Riter: Part 1

For the first two years after Paul left, I did not sleep through the night.  I’d go to sleep only to awake several hours later with murderous thoughts rushing through my mind about how I could murder Paul and get away with it. In my head I was convinced that no jury of twelve women, […]

The Proverbial Question

During our marriage whenever I would do something that Paul did not approve of he would always say to me, “Joanie, have you lost your mind?”  This was Paul’s proverbial question that he was always asking me. Like he expected me to answer, “Yes Paul – I have lost my mind.  Can you help me […]

A Very Resilient Woman

It’s been three months since I last blogged and no one has e-mailed me and said, “Joan, what has happened to you?  Have you abandoned your blog?” Well, my feelings are beyond hurt that nobody has missed me – but I’ll get over it, because if there’s one thing I am it’s a very resilient […]

My Mad, Passionate, Wildly Sex-Crazed Nights With My Refrigerator

In 1994, when I was married to Paul, I bought a new side-by-side refrigerator.  The salesman said, “You’re going to love this refrigerator.” The first night after the refrigerator was delivered I was sitting at the kitchen table indulging in a food binge.  I remember thinking, “My life has become so boring.  I deserve some fun […]

Heart and Soul

What’s a wife to do if her husband does not want to have sex with her? If you were this wife (me) and hungry for love and affection from your husband, why you would raid your refrigerator of course. My ex-husband, Paul, had sex with me only once in the last ten years of our […]

10 WAYS HOW NOT TO GET FAT IN A MARRIAGE (OR RELATIONSHIP)

Okay, today is Day 2 of ProBlogger’s 31 Days to Build a Better Blog with the SITS Girls Challenge. You’re going to love my post today. I’m going to give you a list of 10 Ways How Not to Get Fat in a Marriage (or Relationship). So take this seriously, because although it may appear […]