Archive for January 2010
January 31, 2010
When Grandma died I wanted to call Paul so badly and tell him she had died. I wanted him to come to the funeral with me. I wanted to cry on his shoulder. I wanted him to wipe away my tears. I wanted him to tell me we were back together again. There were so […]
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10 Comments »
January 28, 2010
Dear reader, now the real fun begins. It has been 28 days since I first started writing my blog. This is the way this blog is going to work from hereon in. I’m going to start telling you the story of my marriage to Paul, starting at the beginning. Of course, there will be days […]
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12 Comments »
January 25, 2010
Monday is my weigh-in day. I weigh 225 pounds. That’s a 5 pound weight loss in the past week! I’m down 17 pounds since my initial weigh-in January 1st of 242 pounds. What is the secret to my incredible weight loss so far? When Paul and I divorced I made a vow to myself. From […]
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7 Comments »
January 22, 2010
I want to clarify what this blog is about. This blog is not about diabetes. I only wrote about my diabetes to share with you what my years of binging did to me. I know that I had a genetic predisposition for diabetes, but it was specifically my binging and becoming obese that brought on […]
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8 Comments »
January 19, 2010
My sister-in-law said to me on the phone the other day in her kindest and most diplomatic way, “It would be nice for your readers if you balanced your entries with a touch of reality.” That was her way of saying, “I didn’t think the blog about your secret lover Sammy-the-Refrigerator was funny.” “And Joan,” […]
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10 Comments »
January 17, 2010
In 1994, when I was married to Paul, I bought a new side-by-side refrigerator. The salesman said, “You’re going to love this refrigerator.” The first night after the refrigerator was delivered I was sitting at the kitchen table indulging in a food binge. I remember thinking, “My life has become so boring. I deserve some fun […]
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Tags: affair, binge, bulimic, comedy, craving, darkest fantasies, divorce, emotionally distant, enabler, fantasies, fat, food, food binge, food fantasies, heartbroken, humor, humorous, love, love affair, lover, naughty girl, passionate, pleasure, refrigerator, romantic, sex-crazed, sexy, sweating bullets, tears, tragic ending, unconditionally
5 Comments »
January 14, 2010
What’s a wife to do if her husband does not want to have sex with her? If you were this wife (me) and hungry for love and affection from your husband, why you would raid your refrigerator of course. My ex-husband, Paul, had sex with me only once in the last ten years of our […]
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Tags: affection, angry, another woman, attorney, barrel of laughs, blog, charming, cheat, contempt, crying, cyberspace, dating, daughter, disobeying, disrespectful, divorced, doctor, drama queen, embarrassed, ex husband, father/daughter relationship, funny, grow old together, hallelujah, heart and soul, hungry for love, husband, hysteria, hysterically, imaginary, looking for love, love, marriage, melt my heart, nights, raiding the refrigerator, readership, refrigerator, respected, scatterbrained, sex, smile, tears, violin, wife, withheld, wives, woman, writing
2 Comments »
January 12, 2010
Yesterday was Monday, January 11, 2010, and we all know what Monday morning means! I made a pledge to you, dear reader, that I would weigh myself once a week on Monday mornings and faithfully report what I weighed (no matter what the scale said.) That particular pledge is # 1 under JOAN’S FOOD AND […]
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5 Comments »
January 10, 2010
Do you remember the story of Scheherazade? I’ll refresh your memory. A Persian king named Shahryar has a new bride. He discovers his wife has been unfaithful to him so he has her executed. The king is very angry that his wife has cheated on him so he declares that all women are unfaithful. The […]
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Tags: 2010, A Bad Marriage Is Fattening, accountability, approval, bad marriage, blog, breakfast, bride, cheated, commitment, dinner, failed, food, food and weight plan, food plan, lose weight, lunch, marriage, obsessive compulsive, Persian king, Scheherazade, Sit-to-Walkstation, story, storyteller, unfaithful, virgin, weigh, weight, weight plain, women, writing
10 Comments »
January 5, 2010
Helloooooo out there in cycberspace. Is anyone reading me? Long silence. Just as I thought. No one is reading me except my son, who really has no interest in what I’m writing about, but is doing it out of loyalty to me, my cousin and my sister-in-law. I have a loyal readership of three. Which […]
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Tags: an alchemy of mind, barbra streisand, bette midler, diane ackerman, diane keaton, dream, emotional residue, glenn close, goldie hawn, health, meryl streep, obsessive, sally field
4 Comments »
A Bad Marriage Is Fattening 