A Bad Marriage Is Fattening
Can a bad marriage really be fattening? Yes it can! In my own bad marriage I went from 125 pounds to 275 pounds 20 years later. This is the story of how my unhappy marriage made me fat — and how I divorced my husband and moved on to a happier new life.

31 DAYS TO BUILD A BETTER BLOG CHALLENGE

I have decided to do the ProBlogger’s 31 Days to Build a Better Blog with the SITSGirls Challenge. How crazy is this I have no idea, but before I get started with my challenge I want to explain why I have not posted on my blog for almost three months.

“Ahhh, excuse me, Joanie,” my mother interrupts, “I really don’t think you need to explain why you haven’t been blogging.”

For those of you who are new to my blog that’s my dead mother speaking to me. Mother died almost nine years ago, but that doesn’t stop her from popping into my head and giving me her opinion about whatever she thinks I need an opinion about.

“But I need to say something about why I haven’t been blogging,” I answer Mother back.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Mother advises me. “Remember Kris Kristofferson’s song, Help Me Make It Through The Night?”

Of course I remembered it. I knew the exact lyrics Mother was about to refer to. It goes, “Yesterday is dead and gone and tomorrow’s out of sight.” A lump forms in my throat as I remember Mother strumming on her guitar and singing Help Me Make It Through The Night. Her voice as beautiful as a nightingale. Was it really 1970 when Kris Kristofferson released that song? Where had the time gone?

As if Mother could read my thoughts she says, “1970 is dead and gone – and even yesterday July 18th 2010 is dead and gone. No explanations are needed, Joanie. Explanations are a waste of time. Just get on with today. Today you are blogging.”

“Yes and it feels wonderful to be back writing again.”

If you have read my blog in the past then you already know that I have imaginary conversations with many people in my life, including my ex-husband Paul — the man who I say is the reason I got fat in the first place due to our unhappy marriage and his withholding sex from me. But I also have imaginary conversations with inanimate objects. I even had a conversation with my lover Sammy-the-Refrigerator called My Mad, Passionate, Wildly Sex-Crazed Nights With My Refrigerator. If you are a new reader and really want to know who I am then I suggest you go back to the beginning January 1st 2010 when I first started writing this blog — and wrote my first post called Reality Sucks.  If you continue reading you will soon learn that this is much more than a blog — it is a memoir in progress which I plan to publish.

So now on to my 31 Days To Build A Better Blog Challenge. Today’s challenge is to write an elevator pitch for my blog. Now what is an elevator pitch? “An elevator pitch is an overview of an idea for a product, service, or project. The name reflects the fact that an elevator pitch can be delivered in the time span of an elevator ride (for example, thirty seconds or 100–150 words.” – Wikipedia.

Okay, so here is my elevator pitch: “Can a bad marriage really be fattening? You betcha! In my own bad marriage I went from 125 pounds to 275 pounds 20 years later. This is the story of how my unhappy marriage made me fat — and how I divorced my husband and moved on to a happier new life.”

Also in this challenge I am to write a short elevator pitch that could possible appear on my business card. Business card? That’s a laugh. My ex-husband, Paul, would be joyous if I had a business card and was earning money from my writing. But okay, I’m game. This would be my short elevator pitch to put on my business card: “Can a bad marriage be fattening? You betcha!”

Is that short enough? If it is, then maybe I’ll have 1,000 business cards printed up to give to who knows who?

Looking forward to tomorrow’s challenge

5 Responses to “31 DAYS TO BUILD A BETTER BLOG CHALLENGE”

  1. Hi Joan

    As promised I popped in 🙂 Great tag line.

  2. I think that’s a great pitch. It lets you know exactly what you blogging about and where you are coming from right away.

    You have to remember weight loss is a journey (blech, I hate that saying).

  3. Love the dead mother thing…too funny 🙂 and a great job!

    • Thanks Janae — I am so happy to have a second chance to do the 31 Days To Build A Better Blog Challenge with you and all the others who are doing it at The SITS Girls community on The BlogFrog. I got siidetracked the first time round.

  4. Ahhh, the elevator speech. We use it all the time. I’ve written many in my various marketing classes. I also do them for real in business. Yours is excellent. Great job!

    I must say, I love your writing style. Very good job and very interesting.


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